As a guy, I know that going on a first date can be nerve-wracking, although to be absolutely honest, I enjoy them a lot. However, there’s so much pressure to make a good first impression and to make sure the girl you’re with is having a good time.
But I’m here to help. In this guide, I’ll share with you tips on what to wear and how to prepare, where to go, what to talk about, what questions to ask, and how to behave on a first date that work for me. By the end of this article, you’ll have everything you need to feel confident and comfortable to make a lasting impression on your first date with a girl.
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First Date Basics – What to Wear and How to Prepare
The first thing to consider when going on a first date is what to wear. You want to make sure you look good, but you also want to be comfortable. The key is to dress to impress, but not to overdo it. A simple outfit that looks put together will do the trick. I find that one key thing here is to look good, but in a way that you would normally dress, for example, you could wear a nice pair of jeans, a button-up shirt, and a blazer, but if you are never again, or never before dressed like that, don’t do it, the most important thing is to look good being yourself. If you don’t know how to pick a scent for your date, check out this article I wrote about find the right one for every occasion.
Another important thing to consider is how to prepare for the date. Make sure you know where you’re going and what time you need to be there, if by any reason you are running behind schedule, make sure you let your date know, a simple text reading “I’m on my way, I’ll be 5 minutes late” is enough, and no one will get upset. Nevertheless, plan to arrive a few minutes early so you’re not rushed. If you are going for a coffee or a drink, this will give you enough time to get a good table and set yourself up for your date. As a pro tip, let me tell you, do NOT sit across the table from her, sit side by side, this will give you the opportunity to engage in casual physical contact.
It’s also a good idea to have some conversation topics in mind so you’re not left struggling to think of something to say, prepare yourself a little toolbox, with interesting questions and topics you want to talk about, it will come in handy for when the dreaded awkward silence hits.
Where to Go on a First Date – Finding the Perfect Place
Choosing the perfect place for a first date can be tricky. You want to find a place that’s fun, but also allows for conversation, and this is the most important thing here, there can be no knowing a person without conversation. Some great options include going to a coffee shop, taking a walk in the park, or going bowling. These activities allow you to get to know each other while also having a good time. Actually, if you manage to do all these things is actually a pretty solid date, get a coffee to go and drink it while walking through the park on your way to the bowling alley. This plays a huge part in the mind of your date, because it gives the idea that you did so much on one date.
I do not recommend, in fact I think is a terrible first date, going to a restaurant or seeing a movie. These activities do not allow for as much conversation as some of the more casual options.
And let’s be honest, you may not hit it off with your date, to get that feel you only need the length of a coffee or a beer, so why would you put yourself through something that can be lengthy and expensive.
First Date Conversation – What to Talk About and What to Avoid
One of the most important things to consider on a first date is what to talk about. You want to make sure the conversation flows naturally, but you also want to avoid certain topics. For example, it’s best to avoid talking about politics or religion, as these topics can be divisive.
Start with the boring basics to get that out the way quickly, questions like “where do you work? And what do you do there?” are plain boring and do not leave much room for follow ups, however a good follow up is “do you enjoy your day job?” and one that will kickstart the interesting part of the conversation is “what is your passion?” or “what do you love doing in your free time?”.
Try to focus on getting to know each other. Ask questions about her interests, hobbies, and family. Share stories about yourself and your own experiences. The key is to keep the conversation light and fun.
Questions to Ask on a First Date – Flirty, Funny, and Interesting Options
Asking questions is a great way to get to know someone on a first date. But it’s important to ask the right questions. Here are some flirty, funny, and interesting options to consider:
- Flirty: “What’s your idea of a perfect date?” or “What’s your favorite thing about yourself?”
- Funny: “If you could have any superpower, what would it be?” or “What’s the worst pickup line someone’s ever used on you?”
- Interesting: “What’s a place you’ve always wanted to travel to?” or “What’s the best book you’ve read recently?”
For a more comprehensive list of questions, check out this article from Science of People, it really has some great ones that you should try.
How to Behave on a First Date – Tips for Making a Great Impression
Behaviour is just as important as conversation on a first date. Here are some tips to keep in mind:
- Be polite and courteous. Open doors for her and offer to pay for the date.
- Wherever you go, act like if you know everyone there, be polite to your waiter or waitress, she wants to know how you treat other people.
- Avoid using your phone during the date. This can be a major turnoff. This includes putting your phone on the table, even with the screen facing down.
- Pay attention to your body language. Maintain eye contact and avoid crossing your arms.
- Be confident, but not arrogant. Show her that you’re interested in her, but don’t come on too strong.
- I remember a friend of mine once said something that at first I thought it was dumb, but it turns out he was absolutely right, you need to be a warrior clown, the most important thing women want is a man that makes them laugh, but also that makes them feel safe, hence warrior clown.
Dealing with Awkward Silences on a First Date
Do you remember that toolbox I mentioned earlier. Well, as it turns out even with the best preparation, awkward silences can still happen on a first date. The key is not to panic.
This is where you need to be clever, if you have been paying attention to what she says, as you should on a date, this is a great opportunity to try to fill the silence with a question or a comment about something she said earlier that you find interesting and want to know more about.
Other great conversation starters for awkward silences is to ask about her about her favourite movies and/or music or share a funny story from your own life.
You will find that in no time, you are building a true connection with her.
First Date Tips for Guys: Dos and Don’ts to Make a First Date a Success
To sum it all up, here are some dos and don’ts to keep in mind on a first date:
Dos:
- Dress to impress, but don’t overdo it. Be yourself, if there are more date after, and you actually get to know each other well, she needs to see that you are always authentic.
- Plan ahead and arrive a few minutes early. Select a coffee place or a bar that you are familiar with and know the people there, this will give you social validation and she will feel safe knowing that you are on a place where people know you.
- Focus on getting to know each other. Ask funny and flirty questions and actively listen to her.
- Ask the right questions. Avoid topics that are usually divisive like politics or religion, save that for later.
- Be polite and courteous. Treat people around you politely, say please and thank you, this goes a long way.
- Be confident, but not arrogant.
- And most importantly, make her laugh.
Don’ts:
- Talk about divisive topics like politics or religion.
- Use your phone during the date.
- Have poor body language.
- Come on too strong.
- Panic during awkward silences.
Conclusion: Making a Lasting Impression on Your First Date
Going on a first date with a girl can be nerve-wracking, but it doesn’t have to be. By following the tips in this guide, you’ll be prepared to make a lasting impression on your first date.
Remember to dress to impress, choose a fun activity, and focus on getting to know each other. And most importantly, be yourself, let me know in the comments how it went. Good luck!